Chuckler’s Musings

Listen up, human readers. We’ve put entirely too little thought into the whole zombie invasion situation, and I’ve got a feeling that its only a matter of time before the zombie uprising we’re all fearing becomes reality.

If you’re going to be trapped ANYWHERE when the zombies come, be trapped in a hardware store. They’ve got all the lawncare implements you’ll need for zombie beheading, and they’ve also got wood and tools for reinforcing the structure of the hardware store itself.

I checked out a book on Amazon, the Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead and learnt these top 10 tips for surviving a zombie attack:
1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

We shouldn’t be carefree and foolish with our most precious asset—life. How can we ensure survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking us right now without your even knowing it. Is that a risk we can afford to take?