Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

When asked what he wanted the title of his TV show to be, Jack Bauer replied simply, “Name it after the length of my penis.”

If you look up terrorist in the dictionary you will not see Jack Bauer, but Jack Bauer will see you.

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