You know that pain you get when you’ve got a slightly cracked lip? I love that. Aren’t I a wierdo?

I worked for a few hours last night, and then slept in a little this morning. I’m tired, and I’m not sure if my back is quite ready for indoor soccer just yet.

Can you believe that it’s the end of July already? Wowsa. It’ll be Christmas before we know it. August is a good month - sure, it’s a little colder than I might like, but let’s not forget that there’s a public holiday in there for us Brisbanites … the Royal Show day, or as we like to call it … the EKKA holiday. I think that this year, I’ll go and just do whatever I feel like. If that means buying 10 showbags, so be it. If it means buying a stupid rubber mask that quickly gets too hot to bear, that’s just a sacrifice I’ll have to make. If it means making a complete pig of myself at the strawberry sundae stands, well … remember that episode of Seinfeld where George was eating that chocolate sundae at the tennie and got it all over his face? Like that.

Speaking of Seinfeld, I just want everyone to know … “You are sooooo good looking.”

It

Hello, hello.

Ok, so last night was family night. Cool, although I ate soooo much food - way more than I should’ve. At home, they eat dinner really late, and I just can’t hold out that long. It’s not unusual to eat dinner at 8pm when I’m at M&D’s. 8pm! I’m sometimes in bed by then! (well, not really, but it adds to the impact wouldn’t you say?)

Also, I recently bought some new CD/DVDs from Sanity online. CD-wise I got the new Party of One album, Caught in the Blast. DVD-wise I finally grabbed DVD Aquarium to go with my DVD fireplace. Now I’m all set, baby.

“Legs 11″ continues below for your enjoyment. I hope G&L are working on a finale to this story, as I have some recollection in the back of my mind that they never actually finished the story when they were writing it. It’d be a shame for us all to get hooked only to have our satisfaction ripped away from us, wouldn’t it?

I’m planning a party … August 23rd. It’s gonna be my 24 and 1/2 birthday party, and it will be an event not to miss. I’ll keep you posted, but for the time being, keep August 23rd (at least) free!

Stacey came heaps early, Stella was stressing about what to wear bowling. “Crikey Stell, you can bet your arse the boys aren’t worryin’ about what the bloody hell to wear, why do we ‘ave to go to all this flamin’ trouble”.

“Stace, Col’s worth it, I wanna look rool spunky for him tonight eh.” Stella said as she shuffled through her assortment of denim jackets and tank tops. “So, I think I’ll go the white cut offs, the short ones with
the freyed edges.”

“Aaw, tops Stell, shows off ya pegs nicely” Stacey nodded.

“So why aren’t you all hot ‘n’ bothered about what to wear, ya not tryin’ to impress Gav?”, Stella asked as she started teasing her fringe in front of the mirror.

“Look Stell, I figure, after what happened with flamin’ Mitch, if a guy don’t like me just the way I am, stuff ‘im”. Mitch and Stacey were together for 7 weeks, the longest relationship Stacey had ever had. Things started off grouse, they’d go to the drive-in, Mitch had a top panel van, with a mattress in the back, so it was perfect. Once, Mitch even went to all the trouble of putting up curtains on the back and side windows, said he wanted to make it look real nice for her, he was real considerate like that. Things started going down hill when Mitch insisted that Stacey stop going to Friday night Bingo with Stella so that she was around to help him look after his mates when they came over for Friday Night Football. After all, who would make sure there were enough Burger Rings and VB? Mitch said it wasn’t that he didn’t want to do it, but what if he left the room for refreshments and Terry Hill scored a kick ass try? But Stacey wouldn’t be forced to chose between a man and her best mate.

“Well, you look great anyway mate, I’ve always loved that stonewash skirt, especially with that white belt”, Stella wanted Stacey to have a grouse night too, but she had to concentrate on keeping the butterflies in her stomach under control.

“C’mon we’d better get a move on, your fringe is plenty high enough Stell, let’s go and get us some fresh meat.” Stacey giggled anticipating Stella’s reaction.

“Nah” Stella said, trying to look serious, “it’s more than that Stace, I really like Col, he’s a top bloke, I just hope he reckons I’m alright eh”.

This is my third attempt at the opening paragraph this morning. I’ve thought better of the first two versions (version 1 was a public condemnation of Glenn and Lara’s spelling in their “Legs 11″ tale, and version 2 was extolling the virtues of Gangster Rap as a singalong medium) and decided to write this one. I’m sure you’ll agree it was well worth it.

Bryce and Woo’s do last night was pretty good … the brothers got entirely well plastered, and almost none of their guests were drinking, but Blacky was, and he did the work of several men. So much so, that I saw him briefly this morning getting drugs from the bathroom and heading back to bed, at a time when he was already late for work. Hey hey - this isn’t snitching, it’s reporting the news as it happened in an unbiased fashion.

I’m pretty hungry, having skipped breakfast this morning. I’m just starting to get back on the breakfast bandwagon …. blah blah blah, nutritionists say that you should have breakfast every day blah blah blah … but after I finished school, I fell away from breakfast as a meal. I’ve been slowly clawing my way back with this delicious concoction of porridge (oatmeal to our American friends) that I’ve quite possibly perfected. Anyone who’s had the pleasure of staying over at my chateau has quite possibly experienced it, but no one else. It remains an enigma to all but those selected few.

Collin returned her gaze.

Hi everyone, and welcome back aboard the USS Chuckler.org. I am your captain, Dean W, and on behalf of the entire crew I wish you a pleasant voyage.

The weekend was pretty good - as anyone who’s anyone is aware, I hurt my back sometime between bedtime Thursday night and 10am Friday. I struggled into work, but had to leave at around lunch time. Spent the rest of the day in bed. Leyton came around to gloat, (and brought KFC for the pain) and I watched the NRL match on TV from my bed, while he and Blacky watched it from the lounge. We also saw “The Transporter” which was pretty good - I hated the girl, though, which spoiled the movie for me a little.

Saturday I still had a sore back, but not quite as bad as Friday. Lay in bed all morning, went to the pub for lunch, and then lay around all afternoon at M&D’s while using my visitation rights to the dogs. That evening I made a steaming pot of delicious curry - a Malay lamb curry, thanks for asking - which Blacky and I had for dinner while watching three awesome games of football of three codes, on three channels. The Rugby was a disappointment, but I was pleased with the outcome of the Broncos/Manly game of League - Blacky and I had a bet on the outcome and even though I normally support the Broncos, I didn’t think they’d get up, and now Blacky has to cook for three nights in a row. Whoo hoo! The Lions/Port AFL game went right down to the wire, with Brisbane losing in the last minutes, due to stupid decisions. When there’s 2 minutes to go, you don’t kick out of your fifty to the pack. That’s stupid. You kick back and forth between your guys, wasting time. Idiots.

Sunday, Blacky and I watched The Italian Job, which I really enjoyed. Not as much as my brother, who is a mini-afficionado, but still, I do love a good heist movie. Ocean’s 11 is the best heist flick I’d seen in a while, and while The Good Thief tried, it didn’t quite get there. The Italian Job may be the movie to take the crown. Spent the rest of the day doing nothing, watching the cricket, and stuff. The evening brought with it the prospect of Foo for dinner, and Terminator 3 at Stafford cinemas. Pretty good, not quite what I expected, and I’ll be checking up on geek websites everywhere to read more about the history of skynet and likely scenarios for sequels.

In breaking news, this morning my television reception was brilliant! I have no idea why or how, but I’m hoping it stays this way for some time to come. Bryce and Woo are having a bbq tonight to get rid of excess wine Woo collected, and I’m not sure if I’ll be going yet, I’ll have to see how my back survives sitting in an office all day.

“Oh, ok,” she giggled, “well, I really have Stace to thank, I was off with the fairies that night, I had me head in the clouds about an exam I had taken at TAFE that day. Advanced Cuticle Care was the hardest exam in the whole Beauty and Hair Care Diploma!” She continued, “anyway, I was goin’ over and over in me head, about this follicle and that ep-eye-dermus, that I just wasn’t watchin’ me card, when Stace yells out, ‘Stell! Stell! 77! 77!’ Well, I almost wet me pants! Not only did I win 50 bucks, but that night there was a meat tray too! Me Dad was chuffed, we had a grouse barbie the next day!

This recipe (from The Naked Chef 2 - in all good email accounts soon) has an uncanny resemblance to breakfast we had at Caloundra about a year ago - but who’s copying whom?

Brunch Breads

Basic Bread Mix:
3 (1/4 ounce/7 gram) sachets dried yeast
2.2 pounds (1 kilogram) bread flour, plus extra flour, for dusting.
Just over 1 pint tepid water (625 millilitres)
2 level tablespoons sea salt
1 ounce (30 grams) sugar

Savoury Rolled Bread of Parma Ham, Egg, Cheese, Egg, and Basil:
10 slices Parma ham
8 large organic eggs, boiled for 8 minutes and shelled
14 ounces (400 grams) cheese (a mix of Cheddar, Parmesan, Fontina, mozzarella, or any leftovers that need to be used up), grated
2 handfuls fresh basil
Sun-dried tomatoes
Extra-virgin olive oil
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
Chopped fresh rosemary leaves

Sweet Rolled Bread of Chocolate, Hazelnut, and Banana:
1 jar chocolate spread
Chopped toasted hazelnuts
2 bananas, sliced

Basic Bread Mix: Mix all the ingredients together and knead into a dough. Cut the dough in half.

Roll one piece of dough out into a long rectangular shape about 1/2 inch (1 centimetre) thick, about 39 1/2 inches (1 meter) long and 12 to 15 inches wide.

Savoury: Along the middle of the first piece of rolled out dough, lay out your Parma ham, eggs, cheese, basil, and tomatoes. Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Pull the dough over the filling so it forms what looks like a cannelloni shape.

Bring one end round to the other so that they join up. Pinch and pat the two ends together firmly to form a doughnut shaped bread. Brush on olive oil and sprinkle the loaf with a little sea salt and rosemary. Transfer to a baking tray dusted with flour and allow to proof for 15 minutes.

Place in a preheated 400 degrees F (200 degrees C) oven until golden, about 35 minutes.

Sweet: On the second piece of the rolled out dough use a palette knife to cover the surface with chocolate spread. Sprinkle some toasted chopped hazelnuts and the sliced banana onto the dough. Roll up into a cannelloni shape and then roll the long snake shape inside itself to form a snail shape. Sprinkle with chopped hazelnuts. Transfer to a baking tray dusted with flour and allow to proof for 15 minutes.

Bake in a preheated 400 degrees F (200 degrees C) for 35 minutes.

Yield: 6 to 8 servings per loaf
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 35 minutes
Difficulty: Medium

Collin smiled back, and for the first time he noticed just what loverly brown eyes Stella had. Collin could sense that this was going to be the next in a series of good things that had happened to him since he got out of jail. First, Gav